6 weeks

We made it to 6 weeks,.. we are alive!!  yea!!!

But just barely.

So prepare your self for a lot of nipple talk, and a lot of emotion.  This is more so i can remember how things happened, and what to remember for next time (heaven help me if this happens again with another kid!)

After week 3, I thought things were on the up,.. but then I got 3 more cracks on my good ole' nipples, and you do not know pain, until you feed a baby off of cracked, bleeding nipples.  So I thought it was still yeast problems.  I called my doctors office and they gave me a strong prescription to KILL the yeast.  It is doing it's job,.. but now imagine trying to heal giant cracks with a baby still latching on to them.  They just got worse,.. and worse.  So after 6 LONG weeks,.. lots of tears, LOTS of creams, and solutions, and pads, and more tears,.. I went into my doctor, who confirmed the fears that they weren't healing.  So,.. consensus,.. I have to pump ONLY for 2 weeks, and hope and pray, and hope and pray some more that this baby prefers the breast over those dumb bottles.  (If you want to hope and pray for us too,.. I'll take it)   

Around the 3 week mark also,.. I thought okay, this baby should be sleeping more than 2 hours at night, and should NOT be crying and fussing for 3 hours, and it wasn't a normal cry,.. it was a painful cry, and he would arch his back, and crunch his tummy, and spit up curdled milk.  I thought for sure it was a little reflux, so,.. off to the doctor I went.  Came home with a diagnosis of Reflux AND Colic.  Poor baby.  a little education on Colic,.. I didn't know anything other than babies with Colic, cry,.... A LOT.  Which Cy did, but only about 2 hours in the afternoon, and 3 at night.  And wanted to be held ALL THE TIME.  Colic is a tightening of the stomach, which can also cause reflux.  So a little muscle relaxer and some antacid and this baby is a whole new baby.  Sleeping almost 4 hours at night(still no Bailey) and smiling, and I can lay him down.  I can now take showers!!!!!  

So honestly, this has been the most difficult 6 weeks I have ever had to endure.   Being EXHAUSTED, mixed with a fussy baby, 2 other kids who need a mommy, and not getting hardly ANY sleep, has been the most physically demanding, emotionally draining experience,.. TOGETHER.  

Lots of prayers have been said in the wee hours of the morning, tears streaming down my face, praying that it would get better, that I could make it through the next day and not have a nervous break down.  I am here to testify that the Lord is aware of me(of you too) and my trials(yours too!) and that he is there to comfort me,.. even if it's not immediate, or even if the outcome isn't what I want.  

I am grateful for my Heavenly Father, who loves me, and cares for me, and WANTS to be apart of my life, and help me through each day.  I am grateful for my beautiful little family.