Anatomy Lesson

Take a close look at this diagram.

Note there are 2 sphincters listed.  (stop laughing people,.. you have MANY sphincters in your body,.. not just the one that releases poo.)  We will be discussing the upper sphincter.  

As some people may know,.. I have a problem with said sphincter.  Basically what the problem is, is that the Esophageal Sphincter just past my air way,.. doesn't like me.  It sometimes doesn't open all the way, allowing food to fully pass through the rest of the esophagus and into my stomach,.. but I am still able to breathe fine,.. but we still say I am "choking".

Scene:

I spent all day in the kitchen preparing a really nice fun dinner with some friends to celebrate Valentine's Day,.. No kids (except for one super cute 3 month old who slept through it all).  Candle lit,... even cloth napkins and sparkling cider(I went all out people!).  I hadn't eaten all day because I was so super stressed to produce a fabulous meal.  By the time we sat down for dinner,.. I was STARVING.  I eat a bite of mashed potatoes, a bite of salad,.. and alas,... a bite of delicious Parmesan Chicken.  Savoring every last bit of juice before I swallow.  As I push it back to swallow,..  I can tell that I probably should have chewed it a little better,.. so I get a drink to give it some lube on it's way down,... didn't help,.. in fact,.. made it worse.  So Chicken goes down first,.. and then fizzy cider,... No bueno.   It's not going down,.. at all,.. and as neck and throat muscles contract harder and harder,.. the more and more fizz starts to come back up,... I hurry and run to the kitchen sink where I start gagging and spewing all over,.. (yes right in front of our guests)  I knew what was coming so I started to brusquely walk to our bedroom.  But of course because of the carbonation added to the suck chicken,.. my throat starts making CRAZY sounds,.. I wasn't sure if everyone else could hear them(they did) or if it was just amplified because it was in my body, or not.  But if I could re-create the sound I would describe it as a mixture of pop rocks in the consistency of pudding,... maybe hard to hard to imagine,.. but pretty creepy.  Luckily this time,.. it was able to pass through into my stomach just fine. (there was a time when I wasn't so lucky and had to have a little surgery). after about 15 painful minutes in the bathroom of trying to drink a little water, and then gagging it back up,.. I was able to get it to pass into my stomach,.. but the embarrassment had been done,.. and I still had to return to dinner.  It was a lovely walk of shame back to my chair to start the lovely explanation of why I choke on things.  But you know,... it wouldn't be my life, if I didn't always choke in front of other people,... it never happens when it's just Peter and the girls and I at home,... nope,.. we gotta make it a public display of retarded-ness.  

Thanks for the sense of humor Heavenly Father,.. it's gotten me through many embarrassing bodily function issues.