Miss Piss(ed)

I know you have all been just DYING,... waiting to hear this story!

It's pretty good.

So this is from a few weeks ago, on my way to Florida.  I had a layover in Phoenix, and then went from Phoenix to Orlando.  Chloe was an ANGEL!!!!!!!!  I'm serious.  She is just the best baby on the planet, fo real! 

Chloe will stare at you, until you acknowledge her, and when you do, you may get one of a few things,.. she may shy away and snuggle me(my favorite,.. for me),.. you might get a wave and "hiiiiiiiiii" from her,.. you may get the squishy face, in which she squishes her nose and bares her cute little(giant) teeth.  {Yumm I love her}

{How can you not GUSH over this!?}

So we run from one plane to connect on the next one, and hop right on.  I waited to be last, on purpose because I like to be the last one on the plane,.. I also wanted to move seats so that there would be an empty seat for Chloe.. so it all worked out.. and I was stoked to have an empty seat for Chloe to sit and play with her toys and lay down when she wanted to sleep.  So I get to my seat and someone helped me get my bag in the over head.. I look down and the isle seat has a lady sitting in it.  So I say "excuse me.. those are our seats, could we get in" {I was super nice BTW}  and she IMMEDIATELY gets all huffy and moves, but wasn't happy about it.  Did she think that she had chartered a private jet and all these people were a surprise or something?,.. like did you really sit in the isle seat thinking that no one was going to sit in the other two seats?  For real!?  Anyway,.. we sit down and get all situated... Chloe was sitting in the middle seat, and me by the window.  Chloe was just as happy as a can be, playing.  We start to take off, and I notice her bag wiggling,.. no worries,.... she totally had her dog with her.  I am no lover of dogs,.. I don't hate them,.. I just don't really like them,.. and I have a slight allergy to them{awesome}.  So we get in the air and she turns to me, and in a SUPER rude voice, says,.. "Did you buy this seat in the middle?"  And I said,.. no,.. I asked the Flight Attendant if we could be seated somewhere where my daughter could have a seat.  She rolled her eyes and looked away. 

-whatever-

So then she pulls out all these papers, and I conclude that she is an English teacher at some level,.. whether it's high school, or college, I don't know,.. but she gets ALL sorts of ticked off that she can't find her pen,.. and then when she finally did find it,.. it didn't work. which made her more angry at the world.

Well,.. she gets up to go to the bathroom or something,.. and so I figured while she was up,.. I would get up and change Chloe, and get her a bottle, and all ready to take a nap.  So I come back and this lady had taken her dog out,.. and sat it on Chloe's seat,.. and her computer and papers were on my seat, and when I tapped her shoulder to ask to let us back in,.. she looked up at me and paused,,.... and then rolled her eyes,.. and started moving her stuff,.. but what the heck was she thinking?  We walked off the plane to take a pee?!?  Like we weren't coming back to our stuff or anything?!?  dummy. 

I just kept thinking,.. "Man,.. who peed in your soggy cheerios this morning!?"

I sat Chloe back down and she was just happy playing with her rings, and patting her legs with them,.. Well that got boring,..so then she started hitting the arm rest with them.  {tee hee}  and OH MY WORD,.. I thought this lady was going to DIE,.. I'm not kidding,.. she started pulling on her hair, and kept gasping and saying the lords name in vain,.. it was like it was the worst thing that could ever happen, in the history of the world, times 10.  At this point I was getting a good laugh out of it all,.. she was totally obnoxious.  Well,..I looked over just in time to see Chloe grab her arm.

END OF THE UNIVERSE,........

She literally JUMPED out of her seat as if Chloe had some infectious disease{she does,.. it's called happiness} and she scowled at me and said "Please!!! Don't,.. just DON"T touch me!!!" 

YIKES.

So she puts her ear buds in and turned her music all the way up and started jammin out!  And by that I mean,.. full on singing,.. I believe the line was something like "tears of change" somepin, somepin.  I'm not kidding when I tell you that Chloe can sing better than her.  It was AWFUL!

So Chloe was getting tired, and cranky, and so I was snuggling her.  She wanted her crib, and some alone, quiet time,.. and so she cried.  She cried for probably 10 minutes.  And then ZONKED.  All the while, Miss Piss, was FREAKING out,.. including, literally pulling her hair, and throwing her hands in the air,.. and yelling things that were just obnoxious,...... but hilarious to me.  I really started laughing her her poor sap of a shell of an actual human. 

So Chloe and I drift off into DisneyWorld dream land and I woke up and looked over at Miss Piss, and she has got her whole hand,.. FULL ON,.. down her pants,... and when I say full on,.. I mean Forearm and down,.. completely down her pants,.. scratchin like there was no tomorrow.  SICK!!!!!!!!!!  BARF!!!!!!!!  GROSS!!!!!!!!!!!!  VOMIT ALL OVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

There was one person who was nice on the plane,.. she was playing peek-a-boo with Chloe. {thank you nice lady}

So,.. when the pilot came on and said that we would be landing soon, Miss Piss, was thanking the Lord,.. I don't know why,.. I'm pretty sure that it was the pilot we should be thanking,.. but I chimed right in and said "I know,.. this flight has been awful,....... but only because you were on it,.. you were SO rude."  Teee hee!!  She got all huffy and was petting her dog.  I SO wanted to say,.. at least you found someone to love you,.. too bad it has 4 legs and can't speak,..licks it's butt, and THEN kisses you. 

Did I mention that I had a wonderfully working pen this whole time!? 

Muwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! 
{Im pretty sure Miss Piss is one of Ugly Lady from Macey's daughter!}
{^that's a link for the Ugly Lady Story^}